


time to breathe

by madnessiseverything



Series: tales of narnia [18]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugging, Peter can have little a emotional breakdown as a treat, Prompt Fill, heavy is the head that wears the crown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:46:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessiseverything/pseuds/madnessiseverything
Summary: Loud, stuttering breaths reach his ears, followed by the last realisation Tumnus expected to have in the jolly halls of this castle. Someone is crying.the one where peter crumbles under his new responsibilities and has some help getting back up.
Relationships: Edmund Pevensie & Peter Pevensie, Peter Pevensie & Tumnus
Series: tales of narnia [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039454
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a prompt fill for a wonderful anon that came to my tumblr. they were a joy to work with and i hope i did the prompt justice!

Tumnus sighs contently as he leaves Cair Paravel’s parlour. It’s his last night at the Cair before he ought to go and get his cave back into order and comfort. The sky is clear, and the sheer novelty of a garden in spring has yet to sink in. There is not a speck of snow in sight, and he plans to enjoy it to its full extent. Passing by the kitchens, he fills a small waterskin and sets out for Cair Paravel’s gardens.

The castle is quiet, the four sovereigns taking their well-deserved rest and the hustle of the week-long festivities gone. His path leads him past the throne room. He is almost out of the hallways when a noise stops him in his tracks. 

Loud, stuttering breaths reach his ears, followed by the last realisation Tumnus expected to have in the jolly halls of this castle. Someone is crying. Tumnus hastily adjusts his scarf and peeks into the great hall of the four thrones. He is stunned to find the High King Peter slumped over on the floor in front of his throne, letting out great heaving sobs. The sound makes Tumnus’ chest ache, and he decides to ignore all protocols that tell him he should leave the High King his privacy. Curled up on the floor in his nightclothes with his clenched hands resting on the throne, it’s impossible to overlook how young the boy is. Tumnus steps inside. 

“Your Majesty,” he says gently, making his way closer to the dais. Peter looks up, and Tumnus’ heart breaks further. He catches merely a glimpse of the tear-stained face before Peter hastily gets to his feet and turns away. 

“Pardon me the intrusion,” Tumnus continues, watching as Peter wipes furiously at his face, “did something happen?” 

Peter doesn’t respond, posture rigid, and his hands still on his face. Tumnus, with a glance down at his waterskin, crosses the last bit of distance. He holds it out for the king to take and avoids looking at him directly. If the boy wishes to preserve dignity, Tumnus won’t force him. 

Peter takes the waterskin with a choked noise. Tumnus waits. 

“Thank you,” Peter says after a while, returning the waterskin. Deeming it safe, Tumnus looks up. He frowns at the way he can see Peter trying to maintain a neutral face. “I’m sorry for- for my display.” 

“Tears are nothing to be ashamed of, Your Majesty.” 

He is taken aback by the way Peter’s jaw clenches at the remark. “I’m meant to be High King. I’ve got to set an example. I can’t just go around crying.” There is an unfamiliar contempt in his voice.

“With all due respect,” Tumnus says, feeling a bit off-put, “there is hardly anything bad about showing your subjects that you feel the same emotions they do. There is no need for another unfeeling ruler.” 

Peter blanches. “I didn’t mean-” He flounders and stares down at his hands. Tumnus can see him struggling for words and waits again.

Peter lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Mr Tumnus. I didn’t mean to imply that leaders ought to be emotionless. It just- it makes me feel so weak.” 

Tumnus nods his head in understanding. “Emotions are not a weakness, Your Majesty. On the contrary, I believe these past weeks have shown that emotions are what brings us all together.” 

Peter smiles weakly. “I suppose.” He twists his hands and doesn’t say anything else. 

“Did something happen?” Tumnus repeats his earlier question. Peter falls into his throne and buries his face in his hands. 

“This week, everything has been so busy that I’ve had no time to think or really breathe. And now, with almost everyone gone, I just…” Peter’s voice wavers. “I suppose it’s finally settled in that this is real.” 

Tumnus frowns. Lucy said something similar to him last night, but she said it with a breathless smile on her face. The fear in Peter’s voice is something new. 

“I’m just a boy,” Peter says, his voice cracking. “I know nothing about being king, about how to run a country and keep so many people safe. I- I promised our mother I would look after the others, and I couldn’t even do that! How am I meant to manage with a whole kingdom?!” 

“You’ve done marvellously thus far, Your Majesty,” Tumnus starts, but Peter’s head shoots up with such a grief-stricken look on his face that any other assurances die on the way to his mouth. 

“I was dreaming about Beruna before coming here. I just kept seeing her stabbing Edmund, over and over, and all I could think about was how it was my fault. If I had just been nicer to him, she wouldn’t have gotten to him. And if I had just- just fought harder-” Peter breaks off and slaps his hand over his mouth. It does little to muffle his sob. Tumnus is quick to sit down in front of Peter and put a reassuring hand on his knee. Peter folds over and starts crying again in earnest. Tumnus lets him.

“I may not have been there for your journey through Narnia,” Tumnus says when he sees that Peter’s shoulders are shaking a little less. “But Mr Beaver told me plenty of it. You did your very best in horrible circumstances, and nobody who was there would say otherwise, of that I am certain. And even with the small amount of time that I’ve been privileged enough to spend under your rule, you have been nothing short of extraordinary, Your Majesty. Yes, you are young, but that makes what you have accomplished all the more valuable. You won a horrific battle, united Narnians that had little cause to care for anything except their own survival for a century, and even managed to reunite long lost families.” 

Peter is quiet, red-rimmed eyes glancing up at Tumnus with uncertainty. Tumnus takes it as a sign to continue. 

“You may not know every step and rule of being our king, but you are one with every action that you have taken. I’m certain the rest will come with time.” 

“How can you be so sure?” Peter asks, his voice rough from tears. 

Tumnus smiles. “There is always room to learn, Your Majesty. Learning and growing are privileges we all will have to get reacquainted with in the future.” 

“Thank you,” Peter whispers, wiping at his face with his sleeve. “I’m sorry for- all of this.” 

“It’s quite alright. I’m glad I could be of some assistance to you.” 

Peter looks around the throne room and clears his throat. “I suppose I ought to go to bed.” 

Tumnus inclines his head, standing up. “Indeed, you have a busy time ahead of you. And Your Majesty?” 

“Yes?” 

“You are not alone. You have been given three marvellous siblings to rule alongside. Don’t try to shoulder Narnia all on your own.” 

Peter smiles down at his hands. “I will try. Thank you, Mr Tumnus.” 

“Have a good night, Your Majesty.” Tumnus bows and makes his way out to the gardens with a gentle smile on his face. Yes, Narnia is in good hands, he muses.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two of this lovely prompt. hope you enjoyed this, it definitely was nice to challenge myself with some dialogue!

Edmund hears the door to Peter’s room open and hastily gets up from Peter’s bed, smoothing down his nightclothes. He looks up to find Peter standing in the doorway with a frown. “Ed? What are you doing here?” 

Any words Edmund had carefully selected to explain both his presence in Peter’s room and the state of his fingernails - bitten down - promptly leave his mind. He looks anywhere except at Peter as he tries to untie his tongue. “I- I had a nightmare, and I had to check you were a-alright, but then you weren’t here, and the guards said you were in the throne room, so I went to look-” Realising that he was rambling, he cuts himself off and clears his throat. “I saw you talking to Tumnus and came back here to wait.” 

Peter’s face tightens in the low light of the candle Edmund had lit mere minutes ago. “Oh.” 

Edmund curses internally. This wasn’t how he had intended to breach the topic of what he saw. “I didn’t, uh- I didn’t hear all of it, just some-and I didn’t-” He cuts himself off when he sees Peter’s face drop. “I’m sorry.” 

Peter finally closes the door behind him. Edmund hates that he doesn’t know what the look on his face means. He hates how unfamiliar he really is with his brother and his emotions. At the very least, he can tell that Peter looks tired. 

“It’s alright, Edmund. I’m not mad.” 

Somehow the careful clarification makes Edmund’s chest tighten even more. “I know. I just-” He looks down to where he has started picking at his fingers again. “I know you went there to make sure none of us saw.” 

Edmund hears Peter let out a soft noise of surprise. Neither of them moves for a moment.

Then Edmund decides to throw this odd caution they’ve built between them to the wind. He rushes over to hug his brother. He feels Peter tense briefly before his arms wrap around Edmund in return. Edmund squeezes him tighter.

“Ed?” Peter asks quietly. “Why are you hugging me?” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” There, he said it. Pressing his forehead into Peter’s shoulder, he holds on. Peter is silent. “You told me to leave,” Edmund continues, desperate for Peter to understand. “And I didn’t listen. It’s not your fault.” 

“Ed-”

“And I would do it again.” Edmund pulls away enough to glower at Peter. “She was going to-” The words die on his tongue, a sudden fear of speaking it into existence taking hold of him. “I had to save you,” he says instead. 

Peter’s face is pained, and Edmund almost bites through his lip when he realises Peter’s eyes are filling with tears. Peter steps out of his arms, hands coming up to aggressively wipe at his eyes. Edmund doesn’t know what to do. He didn’t mean to make Peter _cry_. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter chokes out. “I’m sorry.” 

Edmund, lost for other things to say, hugs Peter again. “Me too.” He doesn’t look at his brother. It doesn’t feel right. Peter doesn’t cry this easily, does he? Edmund thinks back on how angry he was at Peter not crying when their father left for the war, at seeming so above it all. What had he missed, then? 

Peter is still crying. His breaths are uneven, his chest stuttering against Edmund’s face. Edmund just wants to _help_. He wants his brother to be alright. The tight knot in Edmund’s chest feels like it’s growing to encompass his throat as well, and before he can really think of anything else, Edmund speaks again. 

“I love you, Pete.” 

Peter lets out a choked laugh and buries his face in Edmund’s shoulder. “Love you too, Eddie,” he says, dragging in a deep, shuddering breath. Edmund ignores the sudden sting in his own eyes at the nickname he hasn’t heard in what feels a lifetime. 

They stay like this for another minute. Then Peter pulls back and wipes at his face again, this time much calmer. Edmund hastily does the same, just in case. Peter doesn’t look nearly as pained anymore, he realises with relief. The tiredness remains. 

“Do you want to sleep here?” Peter asks, almost timidly. Edmund blinks. A weight he hadn’t even noticed slips right off his shoulders, and he nods, smiling. 

“Yeah.” 

Neither has another nightmare that night. When Edmund wakes up before Peter, he curls up against the headboard and guards his older brother’s sleep for the rest of the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a [narnia tumblr](https://bloodybigwardrobe.tumblr.com/) and am also on [twitter](https://twitter.com/notanycritter), feel free to drop by :D


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